First, let me start by saying that, to me, the words "high-return" mean at least 99.9% without any casino bonuses, but it may include "loyalty" (slot club) cash rebates. Toss in a nice sign-up bonus or a recurring monthly deposit bonus and you might be able to do pretty well in some of these situations. But what I'm looking for here is to get rid of the notion that you can only make a profit at Internet casinos by hustling bonuses. Not that I think there's anything wrong with doing that, but let's face it, playing at a casino only for the bonus it offers is a pain and, just as all the full-pay Deuces Wild games have disappeared, so too will all of the ludicrous sign-up bonuses. Well, maybe not at ALL of the casinos, but the ones that are in business for the long term will eventually cut back on them, at least to the point where they give you maybe $25 for trying them out, but the days of the 30% bonus for any deposit appear to be numbered and I'm glad.

It's time that we all settle down and play at just a few places where they have good games, a decent cash rebate and good customer service. It's tough enough making $$$ at Video Poker without having to worry that you've sent a deposit to someone who's going to shut their virtual door and just walk away someday. Big bonuses were all the rage a few years ago, but today many are looked at with suspicion, mainly because some casinos that were on the brink of bankruptcy offered huge bonuses with the idea that they'd attract a lot of deposits to help keep them afloat. The problem was that many of the depositors were savvy players who didn't lose very much of their money and, when they all asked for payout checks at the same time, the casinos couldn't pay. As a consequence, the players didn't get paid and the casinos still went belly-up, which hurt everyone involved. Now, a lot of those same savvy players avoid casinos that appear out of nowhere with overly-generous bonuses, because that may be the next "scam." While it might be tempting to get a 20 or 25% return on your investment for just a few hours' work, the cost of losing everything, at least some of the time, has to be figured into the equation. While I'm the first to admit that you can still make a profit hustling bonuses, even if you lose a few deposits, for me life is too short to go that route. That's why I'm writing this.

No casino in the world, brick and mortar or Internet, has all 100+% Video Poker games (at least none that I know of; if you do, please e-mail me ASAP), so it all boils down to a willingness to compromise. Don't forget that there are only a few ways to get a 100% return from a Video Poker game, so you have to be flexible, knowledgeable and adequately financed. I'll help you with the knowledge part, but please don't think that you're going to take $200 and turn it into a fortune. What I'm talking about here is sustained play and that takes a good-sized bankroll. Regarding flexibility, you have to be able to move quickly, so that you can take advantage of situations that present themselves, so it probably means you'll need to keep a good portion of your bankroll either at the casinos that offer the games I'm going to tell you about, or in some sort of fast-pay vehicle like Pay Pal (for as long as that's an option, which appears to be about until the end of 2002, since they're evidently going to get out of the business of transferring funds to Internet casinos). Okay, enough preaching, GM; what are we talking about here?

First and foremost, I'm talking about Video Poker games that have a progressive Royal Flush or some other type of "jackpot". You hopefully know that, as the value of the Royal Flush (or similar hand) increases, so does the long-term return of the game. For example, a 9/6 Jacks or Better game returns 99.54% for proper play, but if the Royal is at 5000 coins, instead of the usual 4000 coins, then the long-term return is 100.07%. Combine that with a 0.10% cash rebate and, Voila!, you have a game with a return equal to full-pay Double Bonus Poker, but without the high variance associated with DB Poker. But, (a little more preaching here) to extract the maximum value from a situation like this, you have to modify how you play the game. The only way I know how to deal with that is to get a copy of the program, "Video Poker Strategy Master", which allows you to create an accurate strategy chart that is based upon the pay schedule. It costs $30 or so and is available at www.zamzone.com.

Okay, I can hear some of you moaning about having to log in at a bunch of casinos in order to check the value of the progressive and it's a pain to do, plus it takes a lot of time, etc., etc. Well, not any more. You see, the fellow who brought us all the Blackjack Basic Strategy Engine (www.blackjackinfo.com) has a new site at www.slotcharts.com/ that tracks the progressives for a lot of different games and slot machines at a lot of different Internet casinos and, no surprise, he also covers progressives on Video Poker! One-stop shopping, in a manner of speaking. As this was being written, here's what is being tracked on the VP side: Cryptologic's "Super Jackpot", which is actually an 8/5 Jacks or Better game, available in both quarter and dollar denominations, as well as a whole raft of VP games with progressives that are at Global Player Casino (a long-time advertiser here). Ken Smith, who developed that site has plans to expand his coverage on VP games as time goes on, so it is definitely making our job easier.

As you may know, I love lists, so here's a rundown of the games that can currently be tracked through SlotCharts.com, their basic pay schedule and the point at which the progressive jackpot, be it a Royal or otherwise, has to get for the total return to be over 100%. I want to caution you that pay schedules are easily changed, but these were correct on the date shown above.

* Return with jackpot at reset level
**Expressed as coins or credits, so 8800 in a quarter game is $2200

Note: All of the games listed for Global Player Casino are also available in "three-play" versions.

Remember that not every "jackpot" is the Royal Flush, particularly in some of the wild-card games. Sometimes the jackpot is won by getting a hand that is many, many times more rare than a Royal, which is why some of the the "break-even" amounts are so big. But it's also nice to know that if you hit one, you're going to get a bunch of $$$.

By the way, this is, by no means a complete list of VP machines that have the ability to get over 100% on a long-term basis, but are just the machines being tracked at Slot Charts.com at this time. If you run across a game you'd like me to analyze, send me its pay schedule and I'll get back to you as soon as possible (and it'll be our little secret.)

Good luck, good hunting and I'll see you here next time.