"Mike's at it again" they said on the sports news. I thought they were talking about Jordan scoring 50 points again, my mind went to Michael Jordan's commercial that opened with kids ages 5 through maybe 15 watching Michael Jordan start his patented slam dunk from the foul line, hanging forever in mid-air then slamming the ball through the hoop, as they looked up to their hero, then the kids would all sing "I want to be like Mike." Heroic figures in the 90's but today let's take Mike Jordan out of the picture and replace it with Mike Tyson today doing his best Mike Jackson imitation by grabbing his crotch and telling the media what to do with their own dear mothers.

Could you see the 5 and 6 year olds looking up to Mike Tyson as he throws punches at cameramen, punching out bodyguards, and biting body parts off live human beings while they're awake and still breathing, then grabbing a couple women in private places while in public places while signing autographs for the kids as they sing "I want to be like Mike."

Once again he had to be untangled from the bodies on the MGM stage as Tyson decided to take out the entire press corps, and to show he isn't choosey about who he mauls he included 70 year old WBC President Jose Suleiman which he didn't have too much trouble knocking unconscious and sending him to the hospital with a concussion, then working out on Lennox Lewis' bodyguards before he was wrestled to the ground where he once again bit body parts out of Lennox Lewis' thigh while drawing blood and probably doomed Lewis to weeks of painful rabies shots as well as tetanus and probably a couple anti-venom shots against God-knows-what.

Only five years after taking what we the public know as his first taste of human flesh from scrumptious Evander Holyfield , Mike couldn't resist the temptation of making a little nosh of Lennox Lewis as if he was the afternoon appetizer. I'm sure he would have liked it cooked, we know this because he spit out Haglers' ear rather than swallowing it (try a little A-1 sauce next time Mike), but decided to try Lewis ala tartar rather than barbequed as he dined al fresco at Monday night's pre-fight press conference for the MGM's latest Tyson fiasco. (For a couple million he can take a little bite out of me if he wants to try kosher meat.)

But I can tell Mikey right now, don't even worry about all the hub-bub…bub. The Las Vegas Metro Police are looking for Mike to arrest him in the case from last September when he was accused of raping a young lady in his Las Vegas home. In Tuesdays Las Vegas Review Journal according to Lt. Jeff Carlson of the Metro Polices' Sexual Assault Unit (I would have named it the Sex Lust Unit Team or S.L.U.T. for short) which didn't want to get involved in an embarrassing situation by letting the MGM announce the richest fight in history that's to take place in a city who's Boxing Commission hasn't even granted him a license to fight in the state of Nevada,(rather pompous of the MGM to tell the Nevada State Athletic Commission who's going to fight and where and when.) Then have them walk up to the podium and slap the handcuffs on him and arrest him for the rape right there on national TV. Although that would have been the best way to finally convince the public and the Boxing Commission to finally give this guy up and put him away in a straight jacket.

His last run-in with the press was in Cuba where he threw glass at the press that hounded him because he never got permission from the U.S. government to travel to Cuba (more charges that are being looked into by the U.S. State Department attorneys) But how the hell does this guy even walk free in this world let alone be free to entertain thoughts of the biggest boxing purse in history. Would we allow Osama bin Laden to sell his terrorist training tapes on a half-hour infomercial ("Save the Drama for Your Mamma" by Osama?) Or allow Charlie Manson to sell his personal body tattoo kit "Self Mutilation Kit for the Young and Insane" complete with a free swastika tattoo for the forehead in every package on the Home Shopping Network? Are we going to swarm to the bookstores to make little Johnny Taliban Walker the latest millionaire when he writes his personal memoirs "I Was Only Kidding" or his how-to cook book "How To Make Perfect Falafel While Firing Your AK-47"?

Don't we think with our scruples and morals anymore? Or should we just shove money at the worst the world has to offer in order to feel that we're better people for it, or somehow they'll be better and more behaved if we give them lots of money, that somehow more money will keep them from our own doors, that it will keep them happy and quiet if we pay them off. Like when I drive to work and see the same poor, dirty wretch standing at the highway entrance with a sign "Homeless, please help" and as he gives me his best homeless look and smell every morning. I acknowledged him by telling him I just came from a carwash that was hiring on the spot day labor just down the street. His reply was that he couldn't work because he was disabled. "Well shit man, you're standing here aren't you? You can walk up and down the entrance ramp all day carrying that sign collecting people's money without doing a fucking thing for it; I'm sure you can walk up and down the fucking carwash line carrying a rag for $8.50 an hour."

His reply was perfect "EIGHT FIFTY AN HOUR! Shit man, I make more than that doing this." His honesty was disarming but cut to the point. People actually pay this guy to relieve the guilt of having to look at him everyday. I think they also pay this guy because if he's here, he ain't at their neighborhood, so let's pay him to stay here. Tyson does the same thing. "Pay me or I may come for your wives and daughters…and maybe even YOU!" The only good thing about this guy making so much money is the fact that I never have to worry about him moving into my neighborhood.

And so it will come off, not because we need to see a Tyson/Lewis fight, or that we need to see Tyson fight anyone. But because Don King and the MGM say it will. The same MGM that during Mikes' last fight had shots fired in the melee that followed the fight, had blackjack tables thrown over when the fight spilled on to the casino floor and chips stolen where the MGM lost quite a bit of money, then there was the lawsuits they had to settle since the MGM was at fault for allowing the fight without better security knowing the element a Tyson fight brings in to town. There's too much money at stake for them to allow anyone like the Nevada State Athletic Commission (who will allow Tyson a temporary pass) or the Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Dept. or for sure the U.S. State Department to call this fight off. And don't look for Lennox Lewis to show any class by calling the fight off either after the outrageous behavior towards him and his bodyguards.

He isn't going to pass up this payday either even after Mikes' little afternoon snack at his expense. (I wonder if they'll have to re-weigh him now that he's short a couple of ounces of thigh meat.) And what can we, as the public, possibly do to show our outrage and disgust that a convicted felon, a possible repeat rapist, a man that now faces not only the biggest payday in the history of boxing, but also faces the rest of his life in jail where the final joke will take place at his expense one day at a time when he sits in an 8X6 jail cell with his $30 million bucks he can use as bedding with nowhere to spend it except on candy bars and cigarettes.

We still need our heroes, not the Mike Tysons of the world, or even the Michael Jordans' who only prove you don't need an education but a good left hook or a decent fade-away jump shot from three point range to make millions. And just the fact that it isn't money that separates the heroes from everyone else but our actions with a moral voice that tells us who to look up to.

It was proven to me on Sept. 11th who my heroes are I wouldn't trade an honest hard-working American Fireman or Policeman or Armed Forces for 100 Mike Tysons when I look for my heroes. The only voice I have is that I can refuse to watch; refuse to pay a dime for this fight. And when he asks for justice, I'll answer him in the best words of the dearly departed Joey "the Deuce" Encino (from my Felt Top column), by grabbing my family jewels firmly in hand and telling him "Hey Mike, you want justice? I got your justice right here."

-Ken Pearlman