KING KONG MEETS VEGAS

"It wasn't the airplanes, it was beauty that killed the beast" was the last line in King Kong, after the great beast finally fell. In the long run, it won't be the lack of things to do or places to go that'll kill Las Vegas, it's the basking in it's own glory and forgetting about the people that got them there. Out-pricing to out do everyone else that'll do us in. Greed, in the end, will be the end if we don't learn to care a little.

Like Jules Verne predicted long ago, it won't be the monsters that'll kill us, but the small, unseen things that'll do us in. In "War of the Worlds", H. G. Wells predicted that all the nuclear weapons couldn't save us from the Martians, but the smallest bacteria that killed them.

Vegas has spent every dime to bring "YOU" the best, but without a bunch of you's willing to come and spend, it's just a bunch of high priced conceited bums that have great temporary jobs and when the reality sets in, the greatest gourmet cook is still a glorified fry cook when all anyone wants is good scrambled eggs.

I see new dollar slots with the greatest video shows, the brightest lights, the loudest whistles and like the new Elvis slots, everyone walks by, waiting to watch someone else drop a dollar in and maybe win so Elvis will sing "Hunk-A-Hunk of Burnin' Love". The sad part is nowadays they have to wait a while before anyone even stops, then when someone does walk by and play, it takes forever for them to win before Elvis will even grind one hip, let alone burn any hunks of love. He won't even clean a Blue Suede Shoe anymore for less than a $20.

Tonite was the World's Strongest Men competition. This thing is worldwide, I mean Sven Johannsen from Iceland Vs.Alvin Boone from Wisconsin throwing volkswagens over brick walls, pulling 18 wheelers with their bicuspeds, kind of hormonal imbalance thing. Their busty blonde haired Nordic godess girlfriends brought along to translate and to grease their biceps. With wallets full of Deutchmarks that no one but the casinos will take, but the casinos know it's legal world currency, so they see German dollar signs instead of US dollar signs (an "$$" instead of an "$'/ (if you don't understand that one, go back to history class) so the hostess is calling overseas banks across the international date line to get a current rate of exchange least they lose three cents on the dollar by monday morning, even though they're gonna win it all anyways..So Sven is 400 pounds of pure Viking wearing the latest Ellis Island line from the Red Cross collection from the local Iceland mall. He approaches me at the Blackjack table like he'd approach a 55 gallon drum full of concrete to throw over a brick wall for height and distance, except he could palm me by my head and heave me half way to Baker, California while sucking down a dollar hot dog and fifty cent beer with the other hand (gourmet dinner for this guy, throw in mayonnaise and ketchup and he's in heaven). This is NOT a guy I want to beat, believe me, I gave him all the advice a Jewish kid from Chicago can translate into Nordic in two easy words, "Hit Sven" and "Stay Sven" everyone understands a nod of the head, a smile when he wins, goes a long way in any language and when I left the table I requested to shake his hand and the floorman obliged and that was the first time in my career I ever shook a players hand who DIDN'T tip. Only because he didn't understand tipping and when I came back to another table, he came over to give me a $5 chip, his girlfriend explained how he just got off the plane for the first time in America and I was actually the first American he had really ever encountered and in Iceland people don't tip, but he saw other people doing it and thought to make sure he gave me a little something for the simple gesture of kindness. That he was nervous to meet Americans, this guy was a foot taller than me and 250 pounds of pure muscle over my jello- like frame and he was actually tearing up (yah I was too, shut up!) because America is such a great country. And for another first I actually turned down the tip telling him even in America, not EVERYTHING is done for money (yah right). We shook hands and I heard today this guy lifted a fully loaded Lexus in one hand while waving an American flag in the other.

So I guess on the way to the 21st century there's still enough room for a little kindness, and it still comes free.

---Kenny