"Yes I am a Pirate, two hundred years too late. Now the cannons don't thunder, there's nothing to plunder, I'm an over-forty victim of fate, arriving too late."

That's a line from Jimmy Buffet, and never said much better for myself. Upon "reaching" fifty I get to write what I want, to let you all know what I think, then next month I'll be normal again…maybe. Take it all for whatever it's worth.

The two most important books I've ever read were "Walden" by Thoreau and "The Art Of War" by Sun Tzu (written sometime around 500 b.c.)
The most inspiring poem I've ever read was Robert Frost's "The Road Less Traveled."
The most fun time reading is by far J.R.R.Tolkien.
The most defining line I've ever heard was "We dance around the ring of life and suppose, while the secret sits in the middle and knows." Figure it out for yourself.
Lying, cheating, and stealing are all a sign of weakness.
I pity all addicts, but it's easier not to start something than it is to quit something.
It's better to be tall than short, better to be pretty than ugly, better to be rich than poor, but everyone's head reaches the pillow.
You'll never get rich working for someone, but working full time; you'll never have time to get poor.
It's more important to be a friend that to have a friend.
Life IS what happens while you're making other plans.
Nothing lasts forever…so far.
I get nervous being east of the Rockies.
The best thing about Chicago is Wrigley Field and food; the worst thing about Chicago is the Cubs and Wrigley Field food.
There are very few reasons to fight, but always be prepared.
Respect IS a two-way street.
Listen more than talk, and when you do, be sure of what you say because you can't take anything back.
Be more proud of your home than your street, more proud of your city than your state, more proud of your country than your city, and more proud of yourself than anything.
Death is never pretty, but it sure is quiet.
Worry more about your state than your weight.
Don't sweat the small stuff, but take care of everything you can.
Learn how to survive, be independent, and always be tough, except around Christmas.
When you think you've had enough, there's always something left.
"Teach your children well." Or at least give them a chance.
Whoopi Goldberg really sucks except for the movie Ghost.
I hate Carrot Top and South Park, but they both really crack me up.
I love Liverwurst, and chopped liver sandwiches, but I HATE liver.
I hate killing animals, but I LOVE MEAT.
I'll NEVER understand Bobby Knight, but I love his basketball
Lovers and friends will come and go, but you'll only have one mother and father.
EVERYBODY…TURN IT DOWN A LITTLE!!
Don't take everything so seriously, it isn't a poifect world.
NEVER act your age.

That's it, now I'll quietly turn 50 and go back to what I was saying… (Thanks to Brenda Moran for finding me and having faith that I'd come through. Thanks to Jay Thompson for finding a spot for me and allowing me to spew, they're both exceptional people. And thanks to the GameMaster, whoever you are, to my mother all I can say is "you started it." And to my dad, wherever you are…I think I'm a mench.)

-Ken Pearlman