Dear Mark,
An accepted method for geezers to hold off the ravages of senile dementia, Alzheimer's or other debilities of age, is vigorous mental activities thus to avoid the buildup of nasty amyloid clumps/tangles which push us of the senior persuasion into la-la land. Gotta' keep the old brain moist and working. Sure, library visits, lecture attendance, thinking helps, but let's have a little fun here; I love the challenge of Las Vegas. Anyhow, I came across your Deal Me In column in our Washington newspaper. Being a charter member of your KISS (Keep It Simple Stupid) club, I usually hit on a 16 if the dealer shows 7 through A. Am I using all my gray matter?
Ray. R

I would say so, Ray. Based on your entertaining prose, you are doing just fine. And your inclination to hit those worthless 16's, yep, your brain cells are still firing at 100%. Many players believe they get more than their fair share of those pesky 16's. But actually a breakdown of the 1326 possible hands of a deck of 52 cards, shows the hard 16 wielding its ugly face 6.003% of the time. Probabilities books, computer studies, the experts, they all say the same thing: Whack that 16 when the dealer shows a 7 through Ace.

Dear Mark,
Does the casino base how much I receive in comps by how much I win or lose on a slot machine?
Mary N.

Neither, Mary. The casino does not base its slot club benefits on your win/loss totals. True, it does keep records of when you win or lose, but comp decisions are based on the amount of money you insert in their one-armed bandits. Here's how it works. The casino will take your original buy-in, plus the winnings you have re-inserting, either by coin or credit, then figure your value to them as a patron, rewarding comps accordingly. For example: If you were to cycle $500 an hour through a 25¢ video poker machine, your total after an eight hour stint would be $4,000. With that kind of action-again, win or lose- your worth to the casino would warrant a freebie spread (of $40 and $120 depending on the casino) of rooms, food and beverages (RFB's in gambling jargon).

Dear Mark,
You mention the benefits of finding the smallest minimum table limits when playing blackjack. Won't that affect my getting my fair share of comps compared to a $25 game?
Jess C.

Ever ride out a five-hour losing streak on a $25 game, Jess? At least on a $2 game, you can reduce your bets to that minimum and hold on for dear life. And don't worry about a $2 minimum game. Start playing those quarter chips, especially at a $2 table, and you will be noticed, and you'll get your goodies as well. Another benefit of a low table minimum: PROGRESSIVE betting, starting from a measly $2. By progressive betting, I mean laying out $2 on the front end, then betting half your winnings. For example, Bet $2, $2 again (I'm ultra-conservative), then $3, $5, $7, $10, $15, $22, $33 etc. Once you lose, go back to the table minimum and start over again.