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Savvy Sayin's About Blackjack

A favorite book of mine is one that my brother and his wife gave me a few years ago and it's called, "Savvy Sayin's - Lean and Meaty One-Liners" by Ken Alstad (Ken Alstad Company, Tucson, Arizona). This delightful paperback is a collection of quotations that Mr. Alstad gathered over the years from various sources of Western lore.

Here's an example that sums up what the book is all about. We all know the saying, "One man's meat is another man's poison", but in the vernacular of the Old West, that comes out as "A cowchip is paradise for a fly". Earthy, colorful, short and sweet.

Knowing an idea worth borrowing when I see it, I thought I'd try to amuse you with some "savvy sayin's" about my favorite game. In my case, making then lean and meaty will also make them somewhat unintelligible, so I'll provide an explanation for each.

Are you ready, pardner? Let's ride!

1. If yer ridin' ahead of the herd, don't be surprised if you get bumped in the butt by a bull.

What this means is that if you are winning way ahead of expectation, don't be surprised if expectation catches up with you. For example, my betting schedule says that I should win "X" $$$ per hour. If I go for a week or two and win at a rate of 3"X" per hour, I'm going to have to pay the piper at some point. Don't yell, "cheat" when that happens, because it's just the natural order of things out here on the prairie.

2. There ain't no virgins in the cathouse.

You have a hand of 11 against the dealers 6 and double. It's like Don Juan, who seduced as many women as possible, but wanted to marry a virgin. You want a 10 and you want the dealer to have a 10 in the hole and you want him/her to hit it with a 10. Sometimes all those 10s just aren't going to show up.

3. The prettiest horse ain't necessarily the best ride.

You have a 20 against the dealer's 2 and in your mind, you've already spent the winnings. But that may well be the next hand you'll lose. You win the ones you expect to lose and lose the ones you expect to win. It just seems to work that way and I can't change it. Emotion has no part in this game, so don't let stuff like that bother you, cowpoke.

4. Your horse won't throw a shoe in the corral.

That shoe will get tossed at the worst possible time. There's never a good time to have a losing session, but it'll happen when you can least afford it. The only thing to do is make sure you're adequately financed for the game or don't play.

5. You ain't dead until yer ass is cold.

Giving up is very easy in this game. You double 11 and "always" get Aces, the dealer just got 3 Blackjacks in ten hands, you put out the top bet four times in a row and lost all of them. It's easy to stop doubling or to stop putting out your top bet. But you know as well as I do, that's when they'll start going your way. Remember, as long as you have the advantage and are operating with sound money management principles, you'll dig out of this. Be consistent and the $$$ will come.

6. I have the advantage, but they have the $$$.

I say that to myself when there's a lot of # 5 goin' on. But the casinos are very good at keeping my $$$ safe for me until I return to claim them.

7. I'm paid to play only my own hands.

Blackjack isn't a team sport. I don't care what the other cowpokes at my table are doing, since I know that their play won't affect mine in the long run. Also, I don't care if they get upset by how I play my hand. If they want me to play my hand in a way to help them win, then they oughta pay me for that.

8. Don't be at the table when you oughta be at the chuck wagon.

Playing when tired or hungry or upset or frustrated doesn't make any sense at all. You've already invested time and $$$ into this, so don't invest any emotion in it, too.

9. Rattlesnakes have those things on their tails for a reason.

They'd rather warn you then bite you and that's how it is with the pit critters at a casino. They'd rather see you leave on your own then have to toss you out. The rule here is to not overstay your welcome.

10. Easy come, easy go.

Hardly an original thought, but there's no place where it applies more than in a casino. You just won a whole pack of $$$, so now you think yer invincible. The next thing you know, $100 or so is gone in some slot machine, a $100 disappeared at the Roulette wheel and so on. Make it a rule to "cool down" after a big win before you do any more gambling, 'cause it only seems like it came easy.

I hate to tell you this, but I've got a lot more of these. We'll scatter 'em around a mite, so you don't start yawnin' on me.

See you here next time.

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